The following excerpt is taken from ‘The Times’ on the ill-treatment of animals and steps to prevent it.“It is distressing to see the attitude of people towards animals and find that cases of cruelty towards animals are increasing. The following pie chart represents the attitude of people towards animals.” As Simran/Dhruv, write the analysis of the above statement in 100-120 words.
What is Excerpt Analysis?
Excerpt analysis has been added to the class 10 reduced and revised syllabus as a choice to question no. 9 (Writing part) of analytical paragraph writing. Though this question also contains a pie chart it is different from analytical paragraph writing in some ways. So, you should not confuse it with an analytical paragraph. Read the question properly first then start answering.
Format/Tips/Tricks for Writing Excerpt Analysis
- Stick to the word limit.
- Use specific words and phrases for analytical writing.
- Try to mention more statistics.
- You can add your own related information.
- Mention the name as given in the question.
Ill-treatment of animals By Simran
The attitude of people towards animals has been cruel for ages. A recent study showed that 50% of animals are exploited by people for their self-interest. Animals are killed for their fancy and priceless body parts including the skin. It was observed that 35% of people having an indifferent attitude toward animals do not care about their pain and suffering. They continue with their torture and experiments. Animals are beaten and forced to carry heavy loads. Besides, to add to their woes, 15% of people believe that animals are their slaves. But, men must not forget that animals equally share mother earth with us. If we can’t help them we don’t have any right to add to their problems.
Word Count: 120
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Marking scheme as given on CBSE’s official website –
| Argument for an excerpt –Ban on Plastic | Competency applied for overall expression • single paragraph • use of appropriate functional language required to show comparison/ contrast/emphasis etc. to achieve cohesion • accuracy |
| Introductory sentence | Competency applied for content • stating the given assumption in the question as the introduction. (content-½ mark) |
| arguments rationalizing against/in favour of assumption | (content -2 marks content) • at least 2 clearly listed arguments countering/favouring the premise. Note – focusing on and extending one particular trend would be considered as one trend only. |
| concluding line | (content-½ mark) • reiterating main inference/position. |
Analytical Paragraph Writing Class 10 (Solved Examples)
Letter Writing Sample Answers
We have to write in one paragraph only?
Yes
Since evolution the dominance of human beings on animals and the cruel attitude has not changed even now. from the above pie chart recent studies show that 50% of people use animals to fulfill their shellfish needs. we see that for the sake of pleasure hunting has been a common adventure among people. However illegal it might be people continue animal poaching for their skin and body parts. It is really a inhumanity to show indifference towards the pain and tortures on animals. 35% of people posses such indifference. we must not forget that our mother earth is equally shared between nature and humans and we do not have any right to treat animals as slaves. 15% of ignorant people treat animals in the same way. thus it can be concluded that awareness must be evoked to save the innocent animals.
Essayshout gives you 4.5 marks.
1. I managed to cut half the mark for certain typing errors.
2. Nice writing.
we have to write title
Yes, you should.
The following pie chart reflects the attitude of people towards the animals.
Majority of the people use animals for their selfishness. Fifty per cent of the people who use animals for their own benefits has been represented by red colour. In contrast with the people who use animals as slave, the people with half-hearted have constituted a majority.
Only fifteen per cent of the people use the animals as their slaves which has been represented by green colour. Thirty-five per cent of the people use animals with a half-hearted mind. It has been represented by blue colour.
Overall, people use their animals for their purpose whether they are using it as a slave or for selfish interest.
Essayshout gives you 2.5 marks.
1. It is absolutely wrong to specify which colour represents what. You are not a 2nd class student.
2. Watch common mistakes while writing an analytical paragraph.
3. compare your answer with the sample answer given and try to self check your answer.
4. You need to work hard.
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For a long time, humans have been ill treating animals. This given pie chart depicts the ill treatments done by humans to animals. Clearly, half of the population ill treat animals for their selfish interests. The second, common reason for ill treatment of animals is the indifferent attitude of human towards animals which stands at a whopping 35%. 15% of the population treat animals as slaves. Humans must understand that animals too have feelings and we must allow them to have the basic right i.e ‘right to life.’
Essayshout gives you 3.5 marks.
Word count is low- only 88 words.
Sentence formation is ok still, you can improve.
The given pie chart shows the ill-treatment of animals by the human beings . Some recent studies shows that about 15% people treat animals as their slaves and about 35 % people shows a indifferent attitude towards the animals .The half of the people possess a selfish interest towards the animals .The human beings have a very bad habit of teasing the animals, by seeing the animals in distress they even beat them hard . In the nutshell i conclude that this earth should be equally shared among humans and animals .
Error Analysis:
1. Essayshout gives you 3 marks.
2. Basic writing mistakes- how to use ‘a’ and ‘an’. Incorrect use of tenses. “35% OF people SHOW AN indifferent attitude….”
3. You can download the FREE Grammarly tool on your mobile to know your mistakes.
For ages, the ill-treatment of animals on a large scale is observed. A recent study clearly illustrates that 15 percent of people treat animals like slaves. They do not understand animals always have life. Animals are brutally beaten up and they are forced to carry heavy loads. They are mistreated by most people. However,35%people have an indifferent kind of approach towards animals. They do not rescue them from being beaten instead they themselves torture them.50 % of the people are selfish in their interest. They are killed for their fancy and priceless body parts including the skin. We should see in the eye of animals’ A soul of a friend’.
Error Analysis:
Good going! 4.5 out of 5 marks